Now that we have said our final farewells to my sister Pauline I felt I wanted to share some things with mine and her friends and our families.

Pauline was such a wonderful person. No matter what was happening in her life or how much she was suffering herself she was always there for her friends and family whenever they called upon her caring nature.

Pauline has had a rough time of it these last few years what with one thing and another. She has had to suffer some terrible pain with her illnesses but never stopped loving life and all those close to her. In her chosen career as a nurse at Dorchester hospital she gave her all. She lived to care for everybody she met and she died the same way, caring for all those around her to the very last second.

I was particularly close to Pauline from a very young age as she was always there for me. She had to get me out of bed for school, even after she had moved out from our family home and set up home with her first husband. Our mother was busy working as a nurse herself and couldn’t get home in time from a night shift to see to me so Pauline would get up and walk down from her flat above the shop that she worked in just to make sure I was up and off to school.

Back then I never realised how much effort she was putting in and I always played her up. I remember a couple of things that got her heart almost failing or her blood boiling.

One time I just refused to get up and I even barricaded the door so she couldn’t get in. This wasn’t just going to make me late for school but it would also make Pauline late for her job. She stood on the landing shouting at me and getting madder and madder until she threatened to get our brother-in-law to beat the door in. I gave in and opened the door. Pauline was furious and grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me until my head almost dropped off. Then she stopped and saw the tears in my eyes and just hugged me tight and said she was so sorry, she just didn’t have it in her to really be mad.

On another morning I was in the bath and found my Dad’s razor on the window sill. I started playing about with it, pretending to shave,  and cut my lip, there weren’t such things as safety razors back then. I panicked, quickly put the razor back on the sill and then spread a bit of blood on the door handle. I then proceeded to make a noise as if I had slipped and fallen. Pauline rushed into the bathroom and almost fainted when she saw the blood all over my face. I can still remember the panic in her voice as she asked what had happened. I told her I had slipped and banged my lip on the door handle and once again she cleaned me up and hugged me tight. I never did tell her what I had really done.

As we grew up the bond between Pauline and I grew stronger and as I got older I would babysit for her 3 children, Lisa, Ian and Adam. Good times were had even if Ian thinks I was mean to him with his very large teddy that he was terrified of! Just my way of keeping you under control Ian, it didn’t mean I loved you any less than your big sister who I would let back down to watch the telly or get a snack after you had gone to sleep. As for the youngest, Adam, he had us all on our toes as well, eating things he really shouldn’t like poisonous berries and having to be rushed to A & E. Funny thing is your still eating what you shouldn’t even today aren’t you my dear nephew?!?

As time went on I would pop in to see my sister if I was passing or sometimes I would go right out of my way to see her. We would sit drinking coffee and have a smoke, usually her tabs, for hours until she would say “What you doing little bruv? Are you staying or going home as I am knackered and going to bed?” I used to love staying as I would get a cooked breakfast in the morning!

One of my favourite pastimes was to go shopping to the supermarket with her, Lisa and Ian, who were only young at the time. As we would walk around the store I would be telling either Lisa or Ian to put this in their pocket or that in their pocket. It used drive Pauline mad as she was terrified they would do it and she would get stopped on the way out and nabbed for shoplifting. Somehow I don’t think she ever believed me when I used to tell her  I wouldn’t have let them walk out with anything.

As I got older I was then allowed to attend some of the parties my sister and her friends would throw and we had such a laugh at these. I remember getting an invite to one just around the corner from where she lived but didn’t get there until really late. She didn’t think I was going to make it and was completely unaware that I had walked in. She was in the living room with a few of her friends admiring a rather large adult toy. When she saw me she threw it across the room  to her friend with a very loud shriek and went scarlet. Hahaha, we all rolled about laughing at her as we had never seen her so embarrassed!

When Pauline married her 2nd husband, Alan, and moved to Weymouth it opened a new chapter in her life. She met new people who would become lifelong friends. Her oldest friends, Debbie and Kevin from Southampton, never lost touch and together with her new friends enjoyed life to its fullest. Holidays and shopping trips, parties and meals all these were regular events and I know that all her friends will have been left with some of the best memories anyone could ever wish for and I know they will miss her so much.

If there is one thing we are all guilty of, it is letting life get in the way of keeping in touch. It’s too easy to just say “Yes I’ll call you and we’ll arrange to come down or you come up” and never actually getting around to it. In the last 7 years I had not kept in touch with Pauline anywhere near as much as I should have done. Although that bond was never broken and we could pick the phone up at any time and chat as if we had only seen each other the day before I really do regret not making more effort to see her. It’s not really an excuse that I now live up north, it’s only a few hours drive or an hour by plane! I will regret for the rest of my life those lost 7 years and not being there for Pauline or to try and comfort my Niece and Nephews when they may have needed it the most.

I am so glad I had a sister like Pauline and I have some truly wonderful memories of our lives. I am also happy that she touched the hearts of so many people in her lifetime. This was reflected in the wonderful turn out for her funeral. So many faces that I had not seen for many years and lots more that were Pauline’s closest friends and colleagues.

Well big sister you’re with Mum & Dad again now and all your pain and suffering has ended. I know you will be looking down on all of us, hopefully with a big smile on your face, as we continue our journeys through life. We will all be together again one day but until then I will miss you with all my heart.

God bless you Pauline, you were unique.

All my very best love,

your brother

Alan xxx

 

Please feel free to leave your own comments and memories at the end of the page

 

A beautiful poem read as part of the service

Feel no guilt in laughter,
she knows how much you care
Feel no sorrow in a smile
that she’s not here to share
You cannot grieve forever,
she would not want you to
She’d hope that you can carry on,
the way you always do
So talk about the good times
and the ways you showed you cared
The days you spent together,
all the happiness you shared
Let memories surround you,
a word someone may say
Will suddenly recapture
a time, an hour, a day
That brings her back as clearly
as though she were still here
And fills you with the feelings
that she is always near
For if you keep these moments,
you will never be apart
And she will live forever
locked safe within your heart

 

 Below are some of the tributes left for Pauline

When we think of Pauline, we will remember how she loved her job. She started her training later than most and worked hard to become a nurse. It was something she seemed born to do. Even though she worked hard, she also played hard. She was very sociable and often held dinner parties. They were always fun and the food was good as she was an extremely good cook. There was always plenty to eat, Denman used to have his dinner on a roasting plate!

Pauline also enjoyed her holidays. It was a bit difficult getting her onto a plane as she hated flying, but once there we always had a good time. We remember her screaming when we reversed a car on a mountain, she swore we were nearer the edge, although in reality we were quite a distance away. We often used to laugh about it. She was a joy to know and will be greatly missed.

 

Denman and Pauline

 

“Pauline and I had a special bond from day one, we loved working nights together and often sneaked off after work for a cooked breakfast and then would sit chatting for so long and drinking tea that we would still be there at midday, when we should have been in bed sleeping because we were back at work that night.

I learnt very early on in our relationship that it was a waste of time putting on a 2 hour ticket on my car in town, and realised why Pauline always parked in the multi-storey even if we were only ‘popping’ into town. Despite hating the multi-storey I had to start parking there to avoid parking fines!

We sometimes went away for the weekend with Bethany and Katrina, Pauline’s granddaughter and my daughter. Pauline often put me to shame as she would hitch up her skirt and join the kids in the water, leaving me sat on the beach, we once had a fun if not technically brilliant game of tennis with the two girls , and after they had gone to sleep we would talk very late into the night while eating Haribos.

On one of our weekends away, the decision was made that I would drive, Pauline was a very nervous passenger! and she would navigate, we were going to North Devon but ended up on completely the wrong road, heading towards Cornwall, Pauline had the map and told me to follow this road and we would end up at a large roundabout where we could get on the right road – this road got narrower until there was grass growing up the middle of the road – eventually the road came to an end with a large sign pointing into a field with RESERVOIR written on it – not only were we completely lost but I had to turn the car around, a Chrysler Voyager, in a very small lane, while trying to stop laughing, it was one of those occasions we never forgot and we also went on to have a brilliant weekend.

Pauline was a brilliant nurse and was loved by both colleagues and patients alike. There are too numerous occasions to mention from work, but on our break time at night we would like to sit outside and we noticed one night that there was a tree that still had leaves on it, but they were yellow. We nick named it the ‘ever yellow tree’ and when Pauline was unable to work both myself and Shazza would often text Pauline making reference to our tree – it’s still there and we still look at it with fond memories.

There was one very funny incident from work, on one occasion Pauline heard the crash bell go and went running into the ward, she slipped and banged her knee very hard – but that didn’t stop her, she rushed to the patient and pulled the bed away from the wall and started lowering the head of the bed – only to discover that the patient was asleep and it was another who required attention. She had really hurt her knee but that didn’t stop her from trying to do her best for her patient.

Pauline knew Brendan, my husband, had certain ways and that he had a shelf in the garage with his things like keys, mobile phone, letters, pens etc all lined up neatly and before she went home she loved to go and untidy his shelf to wind him up! Not many people were that brave!!!

She made a mean Greek salad, and if I was having friends round would come round for a cuppa and a chat, and would then be roped in to do the salad – it’s now one of our favourite dishes if we ever have a party or BBQ.

Pauline hated water that was re-boiled in a kettle and she would always come in and empty my kettle out before I was allowed to put it on to boil.

That was Pauline, at work, at home and for her friends she always did the best by everybody -  she was an extraordinarily strong and some would say stubborn lady and I am very proud to say I was one of her friends.

God Bless.

 

Jane

 

“When Pauline moved to Weymouth we started our annual Christmas shopping day trips to London. London never knew what had hit it! The girls from Weymouth up for a day for bargains, banter and giggling but really up for a day of fun and true friendship.

Pauline loved shopping so we always shopped ’til we dropped and there was never any time for coffee or lunch, but there always seemed time for getting locked in the train at Waterloo or locked in the toilets. This of course meant there was always a threat of missing a bargain! But one year Pauline got the better of me searching for a red coat, but no-one in London stocked red riding hood coats, but as usual the very last shop did; she left me sitting on the floor exhausted watching her running around trying coats on. I just couldn’t keep up with her.

Pauline was always reluctant to cross the roads in London. This time, she’s crossed the road without  me and left me behind – I’ll miss her so much”

 

Cheryl

 

 

“Pauline: my friend. I will miss our chats and cups of tea. I will miss our days out to Southampton to go endurance shopping and see a show. I will miss the challenge of who makes the first purchase and the excitement over coffee as to what you, Sue, Heather and myself have bought. I will miss you trying to complete the crossword on the train; if nit completed on the outward journey, we were called in to help on the journey home.

I will miss the laughter and sometimes tears, and the hugs that followed, to show we cared how each other felt. But most of all I will miss the wonderful caring strong person that was you; always thinking of others before yourself, never feeling sorry for yourself when things were tough; the excitement when a special family even was about to occur, oh oh another shopping expedition! The pride, love and pleasure of your family was often a topic of conversation. This was the Pauline I was lucky enough to have as my friend. I will never forget you, Pauline; you are in my thoughts, thanks for being there for me; glad you were my friend.”

 

Jess

 

From Debbie & Kevin

Deb, her family and Pauline have been the best of friends since 1976. Deb started as Pauline’s baby sitter but was very soon to be described as a best friend.

Bringing up each other’s children, caring for them as if they were their own, almost like a single large family with holidays together, shopping together, adventure weekends together, walking for miles with huge prams together, a lot of togetherness with Debbie’s children calling Pauline their ‘other mother’ , even though she could invoke a tone of voice to make small children tremble if required.

Having just seen the movie Quadrophenia a lettuce fell from Pauline’s pram into the path of Debbie’s with Pauline shouting ‘you’ve killed my lettuce!’

They enjoyed special breaks in Weymouth with Pauline and Alan, even Weymouth peas were special and that white lie was sometimes the only way to get the children to eat their greens at home.

Pauline was always so kind and thoughtful, a giver with a brave face, even when she wasn’t brave or was feeling scared herself.

 

“You all may have thought Pauline had enough on her hands looking after five children, but she actually had three more – Dan, Matt and Sam. She will always be their ‘other mummy’ – and just so you know Auntie P; the Mother’s Day messages are never going to stop”

 

Dan, Matt and Sam (Deb and Kev’s children)

 

Debbie asked for the following short work by Helen Steiner-Rice to be included for everyone to read -

 

“Friendship is a golden chain:
the links are friends so dear,
and like a rare and precious jewel
it’s treasured more each year.

It’s clasped together firmly with love that’s deep and true
and it’s rich with happy memories and recollections too.
Time can’t destroy its beauty: for as long as memory lives
years can’t erase the pleasure that the joy of friendship gives.

For friendship is a priceless gift that can’t be bought or sold:
but to have an understanding friend is worth far more than gold,
and the golden chain of friendship is a strong and blessed tie,
binding kindred hearts together as the years go passing by”